When you get cheated in a relationship it leaves, you a bit broken from the inside. No matter how hard you try it is difficult to brush away that feeling. So, how to move forward in a relationship after cheating? It is not easy, but every individual has different ways of dealing with infidelity. For some, it results in an immediate breakup, but some might decide to give it another try. It mostly depends on the circumstances, individuals and their relationship with each other. Whatever you chose to do, understand that the healing process won’t happen overnight.
Once you discover that your partner or spouse was cheating, the journey ahead is always tough. Thousands of questions keep bothering your mind. The first thought that comes to your mind is Why he/she choose to betray you. Most of the people end up finding fault with themselves. There is no end to that but if you want to move on to the next step, first you must ask your mind to Shut Up.
All the individuals and couples dealing with infidelity have few options in front of them. Here we are going to discuss the healing tips for both the situations.
If you chose to mend your relationship back.
1) Don’t Victimize Yourself: Accept that you are going to be on an emotional roller coaster ride for a while. The duration of the healing process varies from person to person. However, do keep in mind that neither it is your fault that this happened, nor you are a victim. Trust your instincts and stop questioning whether getting back together was the right decision. If you have decided to be together work in that direction.
2) Stop Blaming the Third Person: Remember that it is ok to have a negative feeling for the third person, but he/she is not the only reason for what happened.
3) Open Communication: Have an open-door policy for all the conversations, even the affair. Though it is tough, especially after the trust has been broken but it is essential. You should be able to express your honest opinion to your partner.
4) Stay in Present: You came back together with the hope of building a future with each other. So, it is the time to talk about your future and present together. If you keep digging into the past it will be difficult to move ahead. Both of you must eventually let go of the past resentments and have a fresh approach towards the whole situation.
5) Find a helping professional: It is extremely difficult to have a clarity of thoughts in these circumstances. You need an impartial person to channelize your thought process and guide you through the healing process. The odds of success are much higher when an experienced relationship therapist is involved.
6) Complete transparency: You must commit to each other that you will maintain complete transparency in the relationship. Even a small lie can at times have serious repercussions.
If you want to move on and leave your partner.
It requires the similar level of emotional maturity whether you chose to leave a partner or continue to be in a relationship. Though one sounds simpler than the other both needs time and effort to get healed.
1) If you are married seek legal advice: It is paramount that you consider taking a legal advice if you are married or may have kids together. There are a number of things that are involved here like financials, house, kids etc. Educate yourself about the whole divorce process.
2) Make short-term plans: If you were staying together, decide how your living arrangement will be from now on. What exactly you think you need to do for the next few days.
3) Stop punishing yourself: It is your partner who has cheated, you are not the culprit here. Stop questioning and penalizing yourself. Tell this to yourself hundreds of times that it is not your fault. No matter what happened infidelity is not an excuse.
4) Take a break: If you really think you need a break from the whole situation. Travel along with your friends to an exotic destination. It will help you to relax and build up the courage to move forward.
5) Focus on yourself: Often a time when you are in a relationship you tend to give more attention to your partner. Your preferences and opinions sometimes take a back seat. Now it is the time that you start focusing on yourself. Pamper yourself and this will help boost your self-esteem. Focus on your other relationships like parents, friends, and colleagues.
6) Don’t hesitate to take help: Don’t think that you can go through this process all alone. You are hurt and seeking help is necessary. Take help from your family and friends. The help and support are extremely essential in these situations to get you back on your feet. If necessary, take professional help.
7) Keep an open mind about the future: One bad relationship does not define all or future relationship. You must be open to new possibilities in love. You will eventually learn to love again. All this might sound impossible at this moment when you have been so deeply hurt, recently. But do realize you are not the only one who got cheated. There are many like you, who have successfully moved on with their lives.